Saturday, October 11

What the cell?!

This is to the asshole who broke into my car, stole my cell, garage door opener (good one genius), two sweaters and all my change: What is wrong with you?!
First, why steal the change when you could've just taken the car, I mean why take a dime when there's a dollar bill right in front of you?
And why the sweaters? Do you think blue will bring out your eyes? I hope the tan one smells like cat piss and it stains your skin. That's right, cat piss.
And what exactly were you going to do with my cell? Call me? Call my friends and laugh at them? Call your mom? Here's an idea: Call your brain and let it know what an asshole it has for a body.
And if I find out you come back again you can guarantee yourself a sweet session of ass kicking by me personally.
And oh by the way, when you break into people's cars you probably shouldn't SMOKE before you do it. Because I dont smoke and neither does G so you might as well left your name and number where I can reach you and your pitiful existence! And there's a nice phone message waiting for you if you hack into that as well.

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